She woke with a start. The loud banging at the door was so insistent that she thought there was some sort of emergency in the hotel. Then she heard his familiar voice boom through the thick wood.
"Let's go, you lazy ass!"
Glancing at the nearby alarm clock, she buried her face in her pillow and swore.
Neil had a cheerful smile on his face when she finally opened the door still wearing the oversized T-shirt she had slept in.
"Come on! 6am! Time for a run!"
She fought the urge to smack him upside the head. If she hadn't missed their early morning runs so much, she would have done just that and gone back to bed. But these runs had always been a chance to spend quality time with 'her big brother'.
After Cabot died, she didn't want to risk losing any more quality time with the few people she cared about still left in her life.
"Oh, and in the future," he added as she sleepily rubbed her eyes. Laughing, he stepped past her through the open door, likely to keep it from getting slammed in his face if she got upset at his next quip. "I retract permission for you to go bat-shit-neurotic-crazy in general."
Her brain stumbled at the words she heard, not used to processing anything complex so early in the morning. It took her a moment to realize he wasn't rescinding his promise to be there if she needed anything like she first thought his words implied.
He just wanted her to get off her ass and stop feeling sorry for herself.
She wanted the same thing, but it had been harder to do on her own.
"Less yelling at me and more moving! Come on!" She heard him chirp, as she changed to her running gear in an adjoining room of the hotel suite. Where did the guy get the energy to be this cheery so early in the day? He sounded like an over-enthusiastic gym coach. All he needed was a whistle. "Time for a run, 'cause, yes, you are old and you need to get your ass out there and move it rather than sitting at your laptop mendozaing people's inboxes."
She rolled her eyes, but had the faint traces of a grin as she slipped on her old pair of running shoes.
"I'm gonna buy Danny a beer for that one," he chuckled from the first room.
She called back, with a little more grin on her lips. "Well, you'd better get to him before I do, 'cuz I'm gonna kill him for the same reason and he'd be too dead to enjoy that beer if I see him first." She tied up her laces, then jogged in place a few times to make sure her runners still fit properly.
Neil smirked. "Now move it. 'Less you got a guy here and you are busy, that is?"
There was a pause.
When she re-entered the room where he was waiting, the grin had fallen away. "'Busy'?" The euphemism echoed hollow in her ears. "I haven't seen anyone since... forget it."
She was out the door before he could reply.
[Continued in Comments]
Wild Horses (Aniela)
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Sighing, Aniela leaned into Goliath, resting her chin on her folded arms as
she lay them against the crest of his neck. His ears twitched as he
detected he...
14 years ago
He wasn't surprised, to be honest he figured that was the answer and he figured it was part of the problem, but for now, it was safer to say nothing. He followed her out and once they hit the street, he headed off at a light jog, giving them both time to warm up and stretch.
ReplyDeleteHe had been running almost every morning for the last month, it was always how he dealt with things, running so his mind could work things out by itself.
He led them into the park, glancing over at her and smiling. Yeah it had been a bit for her, this would be fun. Once they had loosened up, he picked up the pace a bit, working his way through the park until they were approaching the hills.
"Shall we pick up the pace a bit?" he asked with a grin and when she nodded, he turned them towards the hills and kicked up the pace, no point being kind after all.
As they hit the first incline, he looked over, knowing she would be sucking wind soon and arguing would be too difficult. He figured simply, if he could tire her out, she would have to listen. Made sense, he hoped.
Halfway up the first hill, he figured it was time. They were only about 3 miles into the run, which meant at least a 3 mile walk back from here depending how pissed off she got.
He slowed a bit, letting her catch up "You know, Cab would'a kicked your ass for wasting your life like this."
"Aw, shit." She regretted agreeing to a faster pace once she saw the hills in front of them. "You're getting back at me for what I said about Pasca, aren't you." If he was mad, he had every right to be. Like much of her life as of late, she had handled that situation badly.
ReplyDeleteAs they ascended the first incline, being the more experienced, more dedicated runner, Neil easily pulled ahead. The full foot of extra height he had over her didn't help either, and Syl quickly fell behind.
She spent the first half of the first hill watching his back as she huffed continuously for breath. Then the distance between them slowly began to close. When he was running beside her again, he spoke without a hint of exertion.
"You know, Cab would'a kicked your ass for wasting your life like this."
"Cabot...", she began between breaths, "...should've... kicked my ass... for wasting my life... on everybody else... except him." She frowned, looking straight ahead. If she had been used to running like Neil, the words would have flown out with a growl.
She had been an idiot. Thinking she could help people and make a difference, she had gotten caught up with every lost-cause-du-jour she stumbled upon. As a result, she spent more time on people who turned out to look at her and her philanthropic efforts with either indifference or disdain, and less time with the man she had loved.
"I'm... I was..." She grunted in frustration, feeling her throat tighten with emotion. She picked up her pace, running ahead of him so he wouldn't see the tears forming in her eyes.
He slowed and let her get ahead for a few paces, then caught up, keeping pace beside her despite her best efforts to drop him off. He tapped her arm, pointing to a small park and a bench, then guiding her over to it.
ReplyDelete"First, maybe a little but I'm not mad." He grins as she drops onto the bench and he stands beside her, stretching out his legs. "Honestly, I think you should deal with Pas if you got issues, you.." He shakes his head and sighs. “Maybe you are right, maybe Cab should’ve kicked your ass for that but he didn’t and probably for the same reason I never have.” He glances over at her, working hard to slow his own breathing, he had been pushing it to keep up with her that last bit but he didn’t want her to know.
“Syl, it is part of who you are, why you are such a good friend, you care and you fight for the lost cause, the underdog…” he laughs, “You are the person who picks up the stray dog, gets bit and the picks up another stray.” He shakes his head. “I couldn’t do what you do, but it doesn’t make you wrong, it just makes us different and it is part of who you are Sis…” he smiles, “You are stubborn, dependable, funny, smart and honest. They are great qualities and they also have down sides, I take the good and the bad, wouldn’t want it any other way.”
He unclips the water bottle from his belt, squirting some down his throat and over his face before he tosses it to her.
“Your issue has always been your strength Syl, you lead with your heart, you put it into everything you do and so you invest emotionally, it makes you amazing to work with, but it also means you get hurt and you take everything to heart.” He sighs, “You know the reason I survived as Mayor..” he smiles, “It wasn’t personal, as much as people tried to make it personal, as much as I wanted to make it personal at times, I managed to remember simply, it was a job, it wasn’t me, it was a job I had to do.” He shrugs, “You gotta get a handle on you Sis… cause I am worried about you and I promised Cab I would watch out for you… so don’t fuck up my promise, please.” He offered her a hand up, hoping she understood.
She had listened silently as he spoke, but that was more from being out of breath than from having nothing to say. Attempting to outrun Neil was about as effective as trying to outrun an elk, and probably just as stupid, but that had been her first instinct when she first felt the tears coming.
ReplyDeleteSeated on the bench, she stared at Neil's offered hand, then glanced up to his face. His comforting smile had always worked before; she wondered why it wasn't working now.
Groaning, she slumped back on the bench, leaning her head back to stare up at the empty, cloudless sky.
"What happens..." Her voice cracked. She swallowed and started again. "What happens when you can't do what you do anymore? What happens when you're tired of getting bitten by strays? Or the strays turn out to be a pack of rabid wolves? One-on-one against a typical fool, I can hold my own. Five-on-one and I might as well be facing a firing squad." She paused a moment at a thought. "Actually, a firing squad would have been less painful..."
Slowly, she sat up, intending to look back at Neil as she continued, but found she couldn't bring herself to meet his eyes again. She looked away instead.
"What happens when the heroes you looked up to and respected turn around and try to rip a pound of flesh out of you? What happens when everyone walks away when you need them the most?"
She closed her eyes, feeling the tears well up again. She hadn't realized she was still holding the water bottle until it fell from her shaking hand. It hit the ground with an almost inaudible thud.
Pulling her legs up, she hugged her knees to herself and hid her face, making herself a tiny ball to hide from the world. She hated feeling so lost and so alone, and she bit her lip to keep from letting out a sob.
Her voice was barely a whisper, when she spoke again. "What happens when you don't believe in anything anymore?"
Was it wrong to smile when your friend was hurting, he guessed in theory yeah, but he wasn’t smiling at her pain, just at the fact he remembered it, he knew what she was feeling and going through. Success was easy, it came from experience. Experience was the bitch. It was earned the hard way, through failure. He pushes her feet aside and sits down beside her, looping an arm around her and giving her a hug.
ReplyDelete“Simple Sis.” He whispered, “You find that one thing, there is always one thing and it doesn’t matter what it is, but you find that one thing that has never let you down.” He kisses the top of her heard, “When it seems like the world is crashing down around you, it isn’t..” he smiles, “It is just most of the world, so find the part that isn’t, find a rock, your footing, call it what you like but you can find it and start from there.”
He sighs. “It ain’t easy, I ain’t promising it will be easy, but it works, trust me.. I have had my world crash a few times… “ he squeezes her, “scars to prove it and all you know.”
He is silent for a moment, letting her go slowly but turning her so she had to look at him for a moment. “Syl, look, being Mayor, everyone wants a shot at you and you know damn well I had a couple of very vocal critics.” He laughs softly, “The point is, figure out who is important, I mean for me, the people whose opinion mattered, I could count on one hand, you, Pas, Jon near the end and a couple of others.” He smiles, not naming the remaining names. “Anyway, what I mean is, what you guys thought about me and said about me mattered.. what other people said and thought, didn’t mean shit. If the people don’t matter in your life, why should what they think or say matter? If you think I am an idiot, that matters..” he grins, “If Angel’s boy toy thinks I am an idiot, fuck him, I don’t even know his name.” he laughs and winks at her. “You gotta focus on what is important to you, fuck the rest of them, what matters to you Sis.”
"Just one thing..." she whispered, as she tried to wipe her eyes with the back of her hand. "Just one thing that's never let me down..."
ReplyDeleteTears still streamed down her face, but she managed a chuckle as she leaned in and hugged Neil. "You've never let me down, but I'm pretty sure you're already somebody else's 'rock'."
Closing her eyes, she buried her face in his shoulder. Everything had been so hard since the whole ordeal started, killing a part of her with each new incident. "I wish I were as strong as you though. Then I could be my own 'rock'."
Instinctively, she squeezed him tighter. It still felt like everything always fell apart, that everybody left eventually, that she was still going to lose what little she still had left. She wanted to hold onto what she could, before she lost that too. "God, I miss Cabot," she muttered as she bit back another sob.
At least it felt warm and safe here in her friend's arms. She was so tired of going through this alone. "Could we... Could we stay like this a little bit longer?" The request sounded childish to her as she spoke it.
But she just wanted this moment to last before it slipped away too.
"I miss him too Syl." he smiles and shakes his head, "I miss Malcolm too, hell he was like.." he sighs, "My Dad wasn't much of a Dad, Malcolm was you know?" He squeezes her, "You just gotta honour the memory, keep going on." He smiles, "And yeah, if you need a rock, you can lean on me Sis...." he gently kisses the top of her head. "You have always been able to lean on me when you need to."
ReplyDeleteHe holds her tight, not saying anything else for a while as they just sit there. When she has stopped sobbing and she has quieted down, he gives her a squeeze. "You know, I am gonna need an hour in the hot tub to unknot my muscles now." His voice is quiet as his hand strokes across her back. "I am serious Syl, I am here for you, but you gotta be here for you. I mean come on, you gotta set the example for my Neice, or else I will." He flashes an evil grin, already picturing his neice with a cigar and a bottle of rye as they hung out on the beach.